walls

When I was in India, I was sure that I was going to come home and clean things up, clean things out, cleanse and purify and simplify and reinvent ... everything. 

Its so much easier to see possibility everywhere, to think that anything is possible, when you're in a place that's magical and limitless. India had that effect on me, making me feel like anything could happen. 

Then I got back to NY and the walls closed in again. 

There was a time when I would have seen this as a gateway to inspiration and creativity, full of possibility and potential.

I thought when I blogged again last week, for the first time in a year - that i could kickstart my creative spark by engaging the blog and its audience (who have proved that they're still out there - thanks folks). 

I thought I'd be able to dive into some projects - quick ideas, working through some fabric, some concepts - a push to produce. But really, it doesn't seem to work like that. 

There's more, so much more ...

I thought that if I didn't commit myself to finishing tired old projects, that I could start fresh. New ideas, new ground to cover, new everything. And I think that it is possible. I like to think I brought back something of that unlimited possibility I felt in India. But ...

Right now I'm not feeling it. I'm not feeling a spark of anything. I feel the weight of obligation and a decided lack of inspiration in my life. I thought I could bullshit my way through a chirpy, happy blog post and show some exciting new beginnings by now. Not so much, though. And I'm kind of tired of making believe, so you get what's real - sorry folks.

If you had walls of fabric, where would you look for inspiration? Where would you start? 

Comments

[Rachael Herron]

I would get rid of it ALL by gift or lot sale (truly, I'm a bit of a purger) and buy two pieces of fabric I really liked and make something out of it. But I'm kind of that way. Keep blogging, baby, it's good for the soul! xo

[Marika]

I think I would start by picking out a few pieces of fabric that I love, and place them on the table . Then I would close the doors and not open them for a while.
I often find that inspiration is kind of overwhelmed by the sheer mass of things, so even if I want to keep the stuff it is often easier to put up limitations and start from there.

That said, I'm not a quilter, but I have loads and loads of yarn...

[rams]

Or pick one, possibly randomly (#7, for example) of the photos you took in India. Just one. Carry it to the closet and choose seven fabrics in colors which exist in the picture. Then make one block -- just one. And that will be success.

Too many choices, huge ambitions. All wonderful, but immobilizing. For now, little bites. One picture. Seven fabrics. One block.

[Vedis Geirsdottir]

Love your stash with its beautiful colours. Having been in India myself I understand quite well your dilemna, that exiting country has a way of both inspire and exhaust you.
My advice would be the same as rams, look for the colours and shapes of India in your closet, but a block?... perhaps it is time for a crazy quilt, India is nothing if not crazy in a very good way,

Best wishes,

Vedis

[LaurieM]

Creativity often comes from chaos. I'd give myself permission to get messy, make mistakes, and just do it.

[Caroline M]

Close the doors, tie the handles together and promise yourself not to go in them for two (six) months. If you don't feel like looking at it, don't. Maybe start with knitting mittens and hats for people who need them, parcel them up and get them out of the house. If you start with simple things then the complex things will follow in their own good time.

[Amy]

I'd probably grab 3 things that remind me of India, close the doors, and lock them. Then wait a few days to see what happened.

And please, don't be chirpy unless that's what's really going on. All of us have these times and lulls and dead zones. They're part of being creative.

[Indira]

Radha Gopinath need new outfit. Janhava is working in one now. She show me Radharani's skirt. Looks amazing. She said they need winter outfits. Do you have any warm fabrics?

[susan]

I agree with the previous suggestions of removing just a few pieces of fabric that sing to you and then closing the doors to the closet. Find your inspiration in the pieces. My most successful stash busting has started when I removed yarn from the closet and put it in a bag for donation. Every time I passed the bag sitting near the back door, I got new ideas on how to use the yarn. Eventually, most of it was knit up. Anything that didn't sing to me after a week was discarded. Rinse and repeat. I'm now down several Rubbermaid containers.

[Sonja]

Give yourself permission to abandon the old projects and start fresh. Purge out any material that you do not absolutely love. Give it to someone that's just starting out in quilting or sewing. Be still and see what really captures your imagination.

[ElizabethD]

Maybe you're just not a quilter anymore -- it happens, and there's no shame in that. Maybe it's time to write a book, or play the flute. . .

[Suzanne Muir]

I'm with those who are of the opinion that it may be time to move on to another discipline...something that expresses your creativity from deeper within than fiber craft; something that taps the hand-heart connection. A form of expression that is quintessentially 'you', as modified by your experiences in India. Start getting rid of the extraneous, as you had planned, and the path will become clear.

BTW, it is very nice to have you back!

[Jill]

Glad you're back!

[mek]

I haven't read what others have written so I may be repeating what has been said.

If I were you I would close the closet doors.
I would think back to one idea in India that got you excited when you thought about it. Even if it's really different or unexpected or has nothing to do with fabric in closets!
I would give myself permission to play. I would not worry, even though it is hard, about grand ideas or projects, about blogs and readers, and "postable" work.
I would play and I would not commit too soon. I would not sew too soon. (both Gwen Marston thoughts!) I would let ideas steep and see where they went.

I thank you for your honesty in sharing about what you are going through. Many have been where you are. I have been there. I actually started taking a pottery class this past January. I have never done that before. When I would throw a piece of clay on the wheel and centre it, I would ask the instructor about pulling up the sides and how to do it. She would say, "what do you want to make?" I had no idea, so I said, "A bowl." I have made a lot of bowls. I love them all. I start a new series of classes in a couple of weeks. I will be making more bowls. I am learning about the clay and me. I may be frustrating the heck out of the teacher, but I am having fun ... making bowls.

I thank you for all your blog posts that have inspired and informed me.
And I will continue to stop by, without expectation, but just to drop in, with a silent hello, knowing there is a fellow soul on the creative road, seeing where you are going.

[chaitea43]

Chai here, I think.....

Don't let the walls of obligations wall you in
but also don't pressure yourself to feel like you're in India and inspired, when you aren't
admit that you are not doing so great
and then accept it.
and then just keep going with who you are, where you are at.

when I returned to India last time, I pressured myself to be a great devotee and go to mangal arati etc. then I didn't do it and fell back into maya badly.

this time, I pressured myself to be really spiritual in India and had a break down to Navalatika's kitchen once, because of all the pressure and thoughts and what to do who to be crap in my head...

this time, back in America, I"m just going to face myself, and think, and be gentle with myself.

so if your inspiration isn't amazing, if you're doing simple right now, and not innovative...that's ok. I know you have to do some bc of work, and do what you need, but...don't pressure yourself too much. it takes time to get back into things. and, if you don't wnat to get into things again, that's ok...because you *are* a different person than you were when you left for India, and that's how it should be. That's why you went; your heart searched for something. so, don't try to be the you that you were in NY before; be the you that you are now. the you that misses India but isn't there, the you that isn't the NY one that you're trying to be. it's ok. it's a new you, and you've only been with it 2 months...it's a baby, so...take care of it gently.

[Teri Pittman]

You need to purge some of those projects, by getting rid of fabric. You are being weighted down by them. I gave away two big trash bags full of yarn (to a young woman from Craigslist that wanted to be a designer.) I felt really liberated because I did not have to do all those projects I'd been thinking about for years. I could start fresh. You will get your inspiration back when you release some of this.