a little problem

I suppose its PMS. Nothing seems right.

I can't get going on the second woven band. I mean, when one spends two days worth of free time working on something that must be ripped and ripped again repeatedly, I really think its time to call it quits. No matter how stubborn one is. It's time to look in another direction, at least momentarily.

So, today I looked around. I did one proactive thing, which was to take a (heavy) pile of unwanted books and sell them at a used bookstore. I was all excited about the $28 dollars I made (that's almost the price of a spindle, or a fleece or ....) until Juno so tactfully pointed out to me that selling unwanted things was more like reclaiming money than making it. Saying you made money that way is like saying you "won" something on eBay - a pet peeve of mine. You didn't win the lottery there babe, you bought it. At any rate, I got rid of several books that I had to wipe the dust off of, weighing at least 20 pounds according to what my shoulder told me later, and made a teeny dent in the piles of unloved books. It felt good.

When I went to the post office this morning and my mailman recognized me on the street (blocks from home) and said, "Hi! How're ya doing?" like we were old friends I realized that maybe I have a little too intense of a relationship with the mail. I got a package in the mail today, but the thing about the package was that I forgot I had bought it. One pound of Icelandic fleece that I unconsciously (¿is that possible?) wrote and mailed a check for. It arrived and I was stunned. I had no memory of it. Of course its lovely and all, but....

Here's the thing. You know ..... um.... the title of this here blog? The part about the wool and how much of it there is? It wasn't true when I started the blog. At least relatively, it was small potatoes compared to what's happened here in the past year and a half.

I know its the spinning. Anyone in the wool world worth their lanolin knows that roving and spinnable fiber takes up more room than skeins of yarn. But its starting to scare me. I mean, 8 oz or those cute tiny bags of hand-dyed silk/cashmere that you can pick up at fiber festivals aren't too bad, but the fleece? The fleece is deadly.

I've noticed it particularly lately. Hot weather and all. There is fleece that still needs washing and the heat brings out that unmistakable .... scent. But rather than cutting down on the wool, I'm selling (quilting, mostly) books to "make room". I keep telling myself that all of this warm, fresh wool will come in really handy because when my daughter goes away to college (one month, and I still haven't freaked out about anything but the money) in the Berkshires, she's going to need warm clothes. Very warm. Hats, gloves, mittens, scarves. Even - dare I say it? - sweaters.

However, I've been doing nothing. I can barely look at the blogs of the productive folks who spin and knit through the heat of summer with finished objects to show. Because I can't even show anything in progress right now. I have blog-guilt about it. Gotta show them something, gotta have something to talk about (never a problem for me, but its tough pulling up pictures of what you're thinking about but not doing in real life). But its almost-August, we're in the midst of monsoon season and nothing seems right. I can't even think about wool socks right now.

I actually considered (remember what I said about PMS?) taking a break for a while until I have something to talk about. The trick is that I do have things to talk about, just nothing to show off. Yes, the inkle loom is winging its way across the country to me now, as we speak. Yes, the house is full (FULL, I tells ya) of wool and I can't really find places to put it anymore. But that's all potential and not product. So the blog will be boring. Or I'll put up more spider pictures. I've always been non-functional/dysfunctional in the heat and right now is no exception.

I feel like I'm floundering. I suppose some people can do it, bloggishly and gracefully and still make it sound interesting. I tend to flop about publicly, in a rather ugly kind of way, which probably means I'm not so good at entertaining by writing. Or hiding how I'm feeling about things. Or self-discipline to make myself produce something.

However, I do feel like I'm deep in the midst of a learning process right now, and I guess that's progressive and productive in its own way. Just, as I said, not so good for the pictures.

Comments

[moiraeknits]

I'm laughing only because this was like looking into my own head. I am going to have to resort to re-doing my living room with Ikea shelving in order to get the boxes and bundles and packages and bags of fleece out of the way and reclaim my space. And all the books I've recently bought, both on spinning and knitting and some other stuff. I don't know why I went so incredibly overboard this summer - I blame being unemployed and feeling the need to stash. And the internets makes it just so easy.... But now I have enough stash, in sock yarn alone, to clothe the Brady Bunch. It's getting kind of epic. I need to get on the ball and do a stash documentation project.

So know you're not alone. That doesn't help much, but I find it a bizarre comfort. :D

[Miriam]

here's my advice. Stop complaining about not having anything to say and start pulling out fleeces. Tell us what kind of fleece it is, and what you think you could do with it. Not only will it give you blog content, but it will also get you interested in doing those things with it.

[Sara]

Two comments: There's nothing wrong with text-centric posting; and I like the idea of a Cassie Tour De Fleece. (What's "fleece" in French anyway???)

[Christine]

MMmmm, hot wool in the summer. It reminds me of the farm and playing with our sheep as a kid. Bumper loved to play with our swing -- that's where he got his name.

So as for this money you made on your book sale I call it "shifting funds", yeah that's it, from one "account" to another when you "reinvest your dividends from your stock". :)

For wool storage I hear those plastic vacuum storage bags actually work to keep the moths away and they scrunch everything down to a more storeable size.

This summer has actually been socially busy for me in a long time (who isn't getting married -- oh, me.) and so my loom has sat half full and my wheel is still moping from when I dropped the darn thing, my knitting needles lay quiet strewn all over the house. My precious limited ability to focus has officially left the building. The Fall at least has the promise of me getting back behind the loom and get some work done.

[Janet]

I think lots of people are in the same place. Just keep on doing whatever works for you. You're multi-talented (creative), and that's a good thing!

[Carole]

Dude. Rhinebeck is just around the corner. You'd better unload some more books.

[fleur]

I understand you... I think weaving allows a very fast use of singles handspun; you also can spin, paint and sell the wool, so somebody finds a use of your wool and you find some reward; also, I have the habbit to take 2 hours per week to wash some fleece, and card the fleece I washed the week before. Fleece is "toison", nous sommes à la recherche de la toison d'or! Anyway, I do what I want to do with it and I don't bother with the stach!

[Kathy]

Still here. Still reading. (And Carole's comment brought a smile). I just went to the Container Store last week and bought two more humungous containers, so you are not alone.

[Sylvia]

How about getting out a notebook and daydreaming about all the things you're going to make for B, drawing sketches, rooting around in the stash to select the appropriate fleeces, maybe spindling a sample to tuck in the notebook?

Or, come out to the west coast where we're shivering in the fog?

[Susan]

I know how you feel. It's just tooooo hot this summer. I've barely knitted in weeks. I haven't even had the interest to go to a yarn shop lately, since I keep cringing at the excess of yarn and wool in my craft room. I'd better get my mojo back soon, that flight for Rhinebeck is already booked.

[mary.l.]

my vote is for the "Tour de Fleece." since my wool purchases tend to be on 'feel' and color, i would love the education. maybe cassie could do a rating scheme, a la "Wine Spectator?"

[Liz]

If it helps any: me too. There are so many things I planned to knit this summer in time to wear them -- and now the summer is on the verge of being over (at least it feels that way), and I just can't get motivated to knit for summer; but it's too freakin' hot to knit for cold weather. [I like Carole's comment though; perhaps I should consider the Summer of Stash as a way of saving up for Rhinebeck]

[claudia]

I'll bet you could stage a picture to represent your mental state. It might involve bags of wool covering you while you lie prostrate on the floor with a cold icepack on your head.

Or not.

[Laurie]

At least I'm not alone in this wool/fleece thing.

I see you in the middle of a complex birthing process, and this is just a stalled stage of labor. Soon, you will figure out what is perplexing you. In the meantime, nothing else seems relevant, because you are stalled in something else, and can't focus elsewhere effectively. Then the FO weaving project leaps out.

[Lee Ann]

I went to college in the Berkshires, too. Yep, she's going to need warm things, alright....

Icelandic unconsciousness. I love it.

[Paula O'Neal]

Hi there,
I just wanted to send you a Summer-too-hot hug. Keep on writing, please. I enjoy your wanderings, where your words make all the pictures we need. Hang in there - it will soon enough be too dern cold! (We must hang together or we may hang separately.) Thanks for the musings. 8-)

[mamacate]

Go read Jo's thing about stash (and the comments). You're doing great stuff. It's just not at that "Look! I made this!" stage most of the time at the moment. But that's a really productive part of the process too--perhaps more productive than churning out sweaters someone else designed every 2 weeks, you know?

As for the PMS, Norma told me something about progesterone cream I'm going to follow up on soon. And there's always the RWC prescription: red wine and chocolate, of course.

[naomi]

A tour of your fleeces would be interesting. But I'd also be happy with more spider pics. :)

[Juno]

Since I spent the whole weekend *thinking* about getting something done, and knit about three rows and spun for about 5 minutes, and stared at the dirty fleece in the kitchen and not much else, I'm with you.

I did the dishes though.

And I...brace yourself....made an omlette. In my....new omlette pan. A real non-stick pan is quite a revelation.

(It took me a while to get it out of the box.)

[Jean S]

I say more pictures of Alice. No one will complain.

[Beth S.]

I kind of want to see the fleece hiding spots, too. I could use some fresh ideas about where to conceal stash. J. is starting to notice the more obvious ones. ;-)

[Tamara]

You're too hard on yourself - you're wonderful, just keep talking to us. And what Jean S. said goes for me too. :-)

[Kim]

The Berkshires! That's where I went to school!

There is NOTHING more beautiful than autumn in the Berkshires. I miss it every year, and I contemplate about flying back to see it. The apple picking, the cider, the colors - the only thing that I don't prefer about living in the NW is the lack of fall color.

Anyway - wherever it is, it's probably expensive as hell, but I'm sure she'll have fantastic memories.

[Ellen]

I know this is way late; I was on vacation and am catching up. There was a letter to the editor in the paper today by some guy responding to an article that I missed, but his comment made me want to stand up and applaud (kind of). He says that in 15 years the petroleum will be all gone (not the applause part) and this will naturally affect all aspects of our economy. People will be fighting over "who gets to buy the wool sweater" (because there is no petroleum for artificial fibers). See? Knitters and spinners with our wool stash will rule! People will marvel at our foresight and thoughtfulness. Buy more yarn! Buy more fleece! Now, before the rush starts! Stand for applause.